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Make a meal of your food

15th August 2007, 4:41pm

New research by Old El Paso reveals that many modern relationships are in need of a good feed. In fact, the age old adage, ‘people who eat together, stay together’ rings more true in 2007 than ever before. It’s time to switch from tray to table if you want to keep your personal relationships on track.

Food is a vital life-sustaining source and yet it's also an essential part of all human relationships. The Dalai Lama described the act of bringing food to the table as 'one of the basic roots of all relationships'.

But what does the food you eat and the way you eat it, say about you?

Renowned psychologist, Donna Dawson reveals the positive benefits of sharing food and the advantages of informal eating in her report, commissioned by Old El Paso, titled 'The Personality of Food'.

The act of 'sharing' important resources such as food with family and friends has historically been absolutely essential for the survival of people and their communities. It was also a chance to bring people together to share ideas and feelings.

Dawson's research discovered that mealtimes become events that bring friends, family, or even whole communities together.

Dawson comments: "Regardless of the occasion, it is the act of gathering together and the "communication" that is most important. The food itself provides the opportunity to pause, sit down, and share the general good will. 'Sharing' a meal encourages individuals to care for others, and to become aware of their needs, likes and dislikes."

Although, in days gone by, eating with your hands was an indicator of your social class, today it portrays a certain 'carefree earthiness'. The benefits of this particular eating style are many: eating with our hands allows us to pay absolute attention to the food being eaten. It also quickly breaks down social or psychological barriers between eaters, because they are all eating in the same way.

According to Dawson, there is also something casually intimate about sharing food and eating with one's hands that helps people relax and enjoy being with company more. A Mexican meal such fajitas is perfect for a group of close friends, because it requires a lot of passing and sharing. And if you are with someone that you are attracted to then it automatically creates a more relaxed atmosphere, helping to eliminate any 'first date nerves'.

And food that we "touch", such as chopped up vegetables and tortillas, brings a sensuousness to the meal: we bring more of our senses to the act of eating, becoming more aware and appreciative of texture, sight, smell and taste, and how they all interact. This, in turn, makes us more open and receptive not only to the food, but to the people with us.

Dawson concludes: "Touching and sharing food makes us feel sexy and encourages us to want to act on those sexy feelings: you need look no further for proof of this than the famous food-seduction scene in the films 'Tom Jones' and 'Nine and a half weeks!'

Since everyone must eat, what we eat becomes a powerful symbol of who we are. To set yourself apart from others by what you will and will not eat is a social barrier almost as powerful as the 'incest taboo', which tells us with whom we may, or may not, have sex.

When we each choose something different to eat around a shared table, we make ourselves, 'other'.

However, where food preferences are concerned, 'other' and 'different' can make us more 'distinctive' and 'unique'.

Mix 'n match meals such as fajitas encourage this individuality, by allowing everybody to have their personal meal. The 'sharing of food' now becomes a learning experience about other people's likes, dislikes.

So 'sharing' leads on to an appreciation of what makes us each 'individual'. Making room for individual differences within the greater whole of sharing and socialising encourages mutual understanding and respect.

Psychologists believe that our very personalities are formed alongside our eating experiences with our families, as the kitchen table is the very first arena where our 'social self' is allowed to develop.

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